Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
