She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
