How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
