I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
