Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
