I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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