Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
