So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
