people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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