I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
