Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Kiss
Puke
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
