are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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