The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
