so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
