She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think your dad took our porno
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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