Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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