I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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