After last night, I could never be a politician.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
