I'm so fucking centered right now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize