the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He shit in the fireplace
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
