dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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