Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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