What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just want nice things and good sex
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
