the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize