You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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