"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize