I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
