Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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