she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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