was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
