watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
