is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
