Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
