You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
