how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
