Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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