He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize