I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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