My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize