Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
