So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize