I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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