Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
