I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
