I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
