he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
