I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We need a shit load of segways right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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