If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
