Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
