I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
