I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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