Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
