I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
