He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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