okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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