Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
