hotel room ftw
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize